Quote: Someone give me some direction or a kick in the pants to stop whinning and keep trying, thanks.
Ok Mama, I am SUPPOSED to be working...no, really, I am...but I will answer your call first. THEN I am really gone for awhile, lol.
Quote: I'm just sick of this. Why am I trying so hard to get this man to realize all that he has and to love me. He clearly doesn't want to fix our R.
Because you love him, deep down believe in your marriage and you are a stubborn woman who refuses to give up just because things are hard. How's that? He clearly doesn't know WTF he wants. That's the ONLY thing that is clear to me reading your posts. Oh, and that maybe he should not be picking the kids up from school drunk. Just a thought.
Quote: How long do I wait?
As long as you want, or as long as it takes, whichever comes first.
Quote: I would like to maybe get a job (for $ and maybe to meet someone)but how can I when he is never here to watch the kids.
Well, you would have to do it the same way you would if he was totally out of the picture. I know it would be hard, and maybe you would basically break even after child care expenses but...
Quote: It has been almost 6 months, and I know to some of you that doesn't seem like much but I don't want to wait for years. Do I just put my needs on hold forever?
Ok, so there is your answer to how long do I wait, but is "years" one year, two, three? You're just tired, I understand but artificial deadlines are not really conducive to this process. Sure, you can imagine that by a year into this you will be SO tired that you cannot go on but then again, who knows, you may have truly GAL by then, gotten that job, met some friends and through those things, gained strength to let THIS need in your life languish a bit more in limbo.
In short, NO, you don't put your needs on hold forever, and really they shouldn't be on hold now. The needs HE fills for you are only SOME of your needs. I'm sure there are a whole bunch of needs that are going unmet that YOU can take care of but are not because of this sitch, right? Focus on those needs, making yourself happier, and maybe the ones he used to fill will fade a bit.
I know you are a strong woman and you'll figure all this out for yourself but we ALL need a reminder every once in awhile why we are putting up with this crap don't we? Consider yourself reminded. Now go have a nice day!
