Nothing much to update. H picked up the kids from school yesterday and spent the evening at home with us. He seems to be doing this more and more. In the beginning he was going out about 4 nights a week and staying out all night 1 night a week. It felt to me like he was running away, he didn't want to be around me. In the beginning I was a complete basket case. He never knew what to expect, would I be crying my eyes out, would I be angry and upset, would I bring up our M and try to reason with him about how he should be feeling.....
Now, I am always pleasant, I do not cry, if I am angry I bury it in my head, and I NEVER bring up or M, R or OW.
I really don't have to do any of those things, my H knows how I feel. Yes, some of us are now entering the limboland stage where it seems like we are not moving forward but you have to admit that this is better than the stage we were recently in.
This is where we really need to lovingly detach, and give our S's space to be themselves. We need to maintain an emotional bond of love, concern, and caring without the negative results of rescuing, enabling, fixing or controlling. We need to own our feelings and not blame others for the way we feel. We need to let go of the fear of the unknown and love ourselves more.
