Quote: But....I kept all of this in my head and "acted as if". I did not react to my emotions. As I have stated earlier I have chosen to stay in this M and look the other way right now. I will continue to work on me. The reason that he has been so nice lately is probably not because he is starting to come around but he probably thinks I believe his lies and he is pulling the wool over my eyes. On the other hand maybe things between them are slowly ending which would account for the fact that he doesn't go out as much and stay out as late as he used to. He could be cooling things alittle but keeping her in the wings waiting to see if the changes in me are for real. Who knows, remember what it means to ASSume?
Mama, it's scary sometimes how similar our sitch's are (but ain't that the truth for most of us here). I often wonder if my W is doing "better" because she thinks she's finally figured out how to fool me in all this. In my mind there are thousand different reasons for her behavior over the past couple weeks, and none of them is that she is ready to "come back" and the OM is out of the picture. Sad really. Of course, my W does not insist things are over between her and the OM, but does ACT like they are.
Yes, it is VERY dangerous to assume in our positions, but that danger goes both ways. Assuming things are great, or better is probably just as bad as assuming they're not. We just don't know, and it's based on THAT lack of information that we proceed.
Sure, it's scary, but it's the truth. Knowing that truth allows you to either pursue the answers or proceed without them, but NOT proceed thinking you know the answers.
I hate this part, this limbo we're in, as I know you do too but remember how much better this is than when we first started down this road, even if only from the perspective that WE are better for it. The idea that they may be "pulling the wool over our eyes" is inconsequential because we are NOT basing our decisions on them so much as us and how WE want to be. Their actions are only to be observed and evaluated but not necessarily acted upon.
I think you did great to ignore the stimuli and NOT react. Keep what you know filed away and if you ever need it, it will be right where you put it. Don't dwell on it though. It will only bring you down. If you can't put it out of your mind, then be direct and get an answer from him, but realize it may be one you won't like, or probably a lie.
Again, you did great, and most importantly, you acted in a way that is according to what your plan/goal is. That means you are making decisions and that is a good thing.
