Always, thanks for stopping by. I appreciate it so much.
Yesterday when H cam home and found out all my babysitting kids had left already he asked if I wanted to go out. We usually take the kids to this pizza place on Thursdays. I said that was fine. We took our kids and one of my daughters friends. We laughed and had a good time. Even though the whole while I was upset about something (I didn't let on). I had seen his paycheck on the counter and looked at it, he was paid for a personal day last week - news to me, he supposedly went to work each day. Then I made the connection that it must have been on the 16th since he withdrew about $100 from our checking account that same day and he also didn't come home until later - kids had to walk home from school in the snow. So, you guessed it, he was probably with HER. I later saw him look at it and immediately shove it into the pocket of his jeans - too late buddy.
It infuriates me on so many levels; 1. I am really trying. 2. He has repeatedly told me that it is over - lies. 3. He is taking our family money, which we don't have, and spending it on her. 4. He is finding it more important to spend time with her than his children whom hang on him for dear life when he is here.
But....I kept all of this in my head and "acted as if". I did not react to my emotions. As I have stated earlier I have chosen to stay in this M and look the other way right now. I will continue to work on me. The reason that he has been so nice lately is probably not because he is starting to come around but he probably thinks I believe his lies and he is pulling the wool over my eyes. On the other hand maybe things between them are slowly ending which would account for the fact that he doesn't go out as much and stay out as late as he used to. He could be cooling things alittle but keeping her in the wings waiting to see if the changes in me are for real. Who knows, remember what it means to ASSume?
My kids are on spring break next week and I am going to make sure that we have fun, with or without H.
