Journaling again; We always seem to have pretty nice Sundays (the only day H doesn't work) then once he goes back to work (where OW is) he starts to become distant towards me again.
Last night he came home a little later than usually, he said he went for a couple of beers and was talking to some old guys that hang out there. I didn't ask any questions. I did ask if he voted and he said, "Why, it's not going to change my life" - don't know what that meant. Maybe he was feeling sorry for himself, who knows. I did not ask nor to I want to get sucked in to this $%it.
I just want to be happy with my life and stop obsessing about the situation that I am in. I have two friends that are going thru some health scares (possible cancer) right now and that put things into perspective for me. I also know all of this internal pressure that I am putting on myself cannot be good for my health either. I have to put ME first as opposed to last like the old me used to do. I want to LIVE my life and enjoy it as well as enjoy my children. Every day I read pages 214 - 217 of DR as well as the last resort technique.
In particular it says to be responsive to your partner's new interest (which he seems to have at times), but not too responsive. If you go overboard, your partner will get cold feet.
I will continue to DB like crazy and continue to improve myself.
