Hi bube, I'm not surprised that she backed down and now she's acting like everything is okay. As the others have pointed out, she has nowhere to go and she knows it.
A couple of weeks ago, my bf had a temper tantrum in my kitchen. He had been having a bad day and took something I said the wrong way. He FLUNG a package of sausage in my sink and stomped out of the room. I was taken by surprise and said, "What on earth was THAT about?"
Literally FIVE SECONDS later he came back in the kitchen with a big smile on his face and said, "What?" in total innocence.
I was picking the sausage out of the sink, and I said, "Now you're too embarrassed to admit that you threw the sausage, and you're pretending it never happened."
THAT blew his cover and really set him off. He accused me of not wanting him to be there, getting on his case, riding him, etc. I was still flummoxed.
Finally he said he was leaving and went out in his truck and sat there with the motor running for about 10 minutes. Finally he came back in and apologized-- a MAJOR step for him. He apologized again the next day.
My point being that if you let her get away with pretending as though it never happened, she will take you up on it, but if you call her on it, it will likely lead to a bigger scene. This is not a permanent change.
I don't understand your C's reason for not telling her about the NPD. If it were me, I'd certainly want a name for what was causing me to fcuk up my life. Telling her seems more compassionate that not telling her.
Edited to add: our posts crossed, but I agree that you've experienced a shift. I'm sure she will pick up on it. That's a good thing. BUT you cannot realistically expect any permanent change in her. The NPD is outside her conscious control IMHO.
