W just called and not surprisingly, she made a comment that this week has been rough because I have been gone so much in the evenings. Now you all know how I feel about that. I have really tried to keep my work schedule to a minimum but this week couldn't be helped.
I have a basaketball game tonight (first one in over a month) and I have had meetings the previous two nights. This weekend, I have a wedding to shoot on Saturday (3:00-10:00) and my W has me signed up to do some orientation on Sunday from 4:00-7:00. Yea, it's a tough week, but sometimes that happens. MUCH less frequently than it used to however.
So, she complained, I listened and agreed with her that it has been tough. I said I had nothing for the rest of the week until the weekend but then it was going to get rough again, not much I could do. I told her I understood it was hard with the kids and such.
What else can I say? She wants me to do these things. She wants me to make more money, and she seems to fully support my wedding business (much more so than she's supported any other thing I have done) so I guess I just chalk it up to her venting and try to validate then move on?
Please, I am struggling with this. It is classic mars/venus stuff for sure, but I just want to get it right. I clearly never have before.
At least I didn't get angry at her for feeling stressed. I suppose that is a step. One thing I AM NOT doing is caving on the game. Every time there is a home game she asks me why I didn't go with that tone that says "You should have gone because I think you didn't go because of me and that's silly". So hopefully I am doing the right thing now by just validating and still sticking to my plans. I have done too much of the wishy-washy thing lately and it's time for me to just do my thing. Like I said, if she's really paying attention, she sees I have REALLY cut back my schedule in interest mainly of the kids, but of course she benefits too. When such time comes when we can talk openly about our feelings and such, then maybe I will curtail things for her, but for now, I don't need to do that, or at least have that be the reason anyway.
OH, and I fully realize that this concern is supposing a relatively normal relationship where I should care this much about how she feels...well, we are getting there so I am trying to figure out the subtle things I used to do to affect her negatively. It's part of my personal growth as well as me trying different things in the context of our R.
