Ok, so how does this apply to me? Are you saying that because I want to work on it and she "doesn't" (I put that in quotes becuase either the doesn't want to, or doesn't feel she needs to) that it is HER problem?
No. It was NOT just my H's problem, but I got to feel that way by using the books to feel like I was open and capable of intimacy while he was not. It was BS. I had my own huge intimacy problems that would have been obvious if he'd embraced the books.
My question to you is -- does giving backrubs and kissing W's neck let you feel like you are open and capable of intimacy while she is not?
If so, then giving them to her might be doing a lot more for YOU than for her because it protects you from dealing with your own intimacy issues.
