he way I have found around it is I bought tickets to a concert for a band she likes so we have one "date" planned this month. I am going to do more of that, and just let her figure out how to deal with the kids. She seems ok with that because we COULD get our parents or her sister to do it with enough notice.
FYI--it would be great if you took care of this detail as well. I'm not sure how W feels, but if my H made fun plans and left the grunt work of logistics to me, it would definitely take away from the treat.
Now, lol, don't disregard that even if you think this is crazy. (I even deleted this and put it back...) Notice the interesting shift between "let HER figure out..." and "because WE could get...". There is a subtle, but weird boundary issue here that I am *overly sensitive* to that is difficult to explain. It is as if you are in that instance viewing her as an extension of yourself that you can deploy to get things done. I'm all for sharing the load and doing things in a cooperative partnership, which sometimes includes tasking each other even, but there is a difference between a partnership and an R in which the other is viewed as an extension of self.
