Quote: if/when we get back to a full R, I want to be more romantic, proactive, and emotionally invested so that we have a better chance of not returning to this place. Do I do that now? Would it be pursuit? Is she ready? Should I even care?
GH, I think you can definitely be more romantic and proactive right now. IMHO, finding good babysitting and going on more dates with your W is the #1 key to your marriage right now. If you can't find anyone, look around at churches in your area to see if they have a "parents' night out" program where they will watch your kids on certain nights. You need to be at romantic restaurants and going to plays or concerts or whatever your W would enjoy. Or, maybe take a day off from your day job for a couples' massage at a day spa.
It's a relic of dating, but women still expect men to plan those events, and I don't really think it's pursuing for you to do those things as long as she understands that you're doing them for her and not with any expectations.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
