Quote: Is that about right? Boundaries are not so much about others respecting you as you respecting yourself?
That's about the way I see it....truthfully, if it were about respect for you, then the first boundary would have never been crossed (i.e., exclusivity of the R). The boundaries are about respecting yourself.
Interestingly, you mention that it involves a certain amount of deception when it doesn't have to....This is something I had said to my W not too long ago when she was hiding her phone card to make her calls to OM during the day. I finally said, look, you have a cell phone and we have long distance, why spend needless money on phone cards if you're going to do it anyway. Besides, he knows how to dial a phone....however, I think the deception is part of the "game" really. Part of it is that they know they are doing wrong and throwing it in our faces is even wronger. On some level, they still care about our feelings.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
