I was just going through the board trying to track down some of my old peeps (hope, lisa, ss, nys, etc) and I read something that Hope posted that struck a cord.
She finished the post by talking about boundaries and how important they are.
I think that's one of the real confusing things about my sitch, and maybe it shouldn't be. EARLY on I think I made it clear what the boundaries were for me with all this. I think my W understands that even though I know about the A, taking calls from him in front of me is not acceptable. Him in our house is unacceptable. Basically, "throwing it in my face" is not something I am going to take lightly. Now, I guess that encourages a certain amount of deception, but really, it doesn't have to. She still basically tells me when she's going out with him. She still takes calls, just not when I am around, and she knows I know she takes the calls. For me, it's just a matter of acceptable boundaries and I have always seen her observance of those boundaries as a good thing. Do you think I am right in that belief, or does it really have nothing to do with anything other than how I feel? If I look at it from that perspective, my boundaries have no bearing on our R or anything else other than making sure I know where I am comfortable and where I am not so I can make appropriate decisions. Is that about right? Boundaries are not so much about others respecting you as you respecting yourself?
