Perfectly natural and to be expected. You weren't happy in the old M, then the bomb came. You panicked, all of the sudden you couldn't believe how much you loved W, what an idiot you'd been, blah blah blah.
Now that the panic is letting up, you are able to take a more reasonable look at things and start toward a more balanced approach. You are bound to start thinking about what you want out of an R and what you aren't getting.
Here's where you can get ready to duck. It is also not at all surprising that despite your growth you find yourself in something that looks pretty much like the old R. You've been there with open arms, no matter what, without putting in place sufficient boundaries to respect your needs or wishes.
She ran, now she's back, but she hasn't had to do any personal growth. As long as you continue to accept it, you will continue to receive the same treatment.
Get real. She is wearing a Claddagh ring and presumably bought one for someone else (at least I think this is what you think.) You are right that this is either a lover's ring or a someone-looking-for-a-lover's ring. I doubt that the symbolism is lost on your W. But, even if it is, you should not be operating in an R in a way in which you are scared to ask about it and to require a straight answer on it. Do you really want to make key decisions in your life based on partial and/or inaccurate information? Do you really want to sleep in the same bed with someone that YOU BELIEVE is either advertising her commitment to another or advertising her availability? It doesn't MATTER whether you have misunderstood what is going on. What does matter is that you respect yourself on such issues and quit tiptoeing around on eggshells! At the very least, start calling her on her anger when you ask about something that makes her feel guilty for treating you so badly. You are allowing her to stay in her comfort zone and rewarding her for blaming you for her problems.
