I am just thinking out loud here. What got me thinking is that I am still hung up on this jewelery my W got in Ireland and in particular, the rings she got. Who is she wearing the Claddagh ring for? It's a lover's ring. We are not lovers. She does not wear her wedding ring, so why this ring if it is somehow about us?
Ok, that was the thing that GOT me thinking. What I am really thinking about is how we get SO caught up in the problems and not the solutions. I especially am guilty of this. More than that, if the problem doesn't HAVE a solution, or doesn't have one visible now, then it's not worth spending time on and can be dismissed or at least put aside. People always say if you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem. I think I need to really apply that in my life and this sitch. The ring problem has no solution, or at least one I think will actually be a solution to me not feeling bad about the ring(s). So therefore, I need to just drop it. If I ask her about them (again) then she will either lie or tell the truth, neither of which seems to make me feel better. If I don't ask her, but continue to dwell, I am surely going to feel badly. The key is to, as usual, detach, and my thinking about solution-less problems is a way for me to do that right now. Don't deny the feelings, just deny the urge to keep letting them rule the day. Of course, this basically the same as just not obsessing or dwelling on things in general, but it is different enough in the respect that it gives me another tool to help do those things. Basically, if I am not able or willing to act on something, let it go because to do otherwise just causes me to act and feel contrary to how I want to act and feel. I do not want to be in denial, just really get to a point where I address these things, make a decision and then follow through on it instead of wallowing and "suffering" through everything until I just "get over it" enough to be ok. Suffering in my case is SO self inflicted at this point. It's almost like I am looking for it. Sad really. It needs to stop.
On another note, does this make sense to anyone? I think I have been here before, but now that things are getting more "normal" in my life, at least around the house, I keep having thoughts of being ok if things don't work out, and I decide to move on from my M. It seems crazy to me that things are finally looking up and NOW I start to be ok with the alternative. I suppose it's natural, but it's also scary. IS this natural?
