Pass the Dramamine...still on the roller coaster!

[always_14]

Hey--sorry about the plans, Nurse Betty...

I really hope that D10 stays healthy...maybe a weekend slumber party is in order for her, away?

I hope that you and H stay healthy too. Too bad about the plans...but, at least it's nice to know that you had them and were planning on a good time. That's the biggest step!

[StrongEnough]

Thanks...LOL....nurse Betty.

I ended up giving the tickets to the boy across the street. Their daughter plays with my daughter and their older daughter is my kids babysitter. They're nice people and really the only neighbors we ever socialized with. So, their son got the tickets and he was totally stoked to get them because he couldn't afford them. So he and his g/f headed there right after work.

His mom called from her cell to tell me that he felt bad he didn't have time to thanks me....but she said if it was any consolation that I made his and his g/f's night and he thought she was teasing him when she told him I gave her the tickets. I'm just glad someone got to enjoy them. I hope they have fun. I asked for a full report on Mudvayne....I have YET to catch them in concert. <sigh>

S2 is still really sick. He spiked a fever and all he did all day was get sick and nap. I really hope he feels better in the am.

Ok, well H and I ARE fighting. Long story. I am watching Deep Impact with D10 so I better get back to that.

~SE

[StrongEnough]

<SIGH> S2 is still sick. He had to go the hospital last night. Poor thing's lips are so dry and cracked he has little scabs on them. Wasn't eating or drinking anything. They gave him some anti-nausea meds and it worked great. So, as of last night he was atleast drinking again. got a prescription for the medication.

Things haven't changed much here. Still got showings up the ying yang booked. Three today. Lovely with a sick kid and H at work.

On the upside, I found a house I like in New Hampshire. We are going to see it, and some others, on Thursday. I love the older houses....they have so much more character then the newer ones. This one is just perfect. It's an old colonial. The best part is, none of the woodwork got painted!! It's a huge house....five bedrooms, which is great for family staying over. It's not too far from the area we wanted to be in. I am excited about it. I hope it's as nice in person as it is in the pictures. Also, it's very inexpensive and purchasing that house would take $1,000 off our current mortgage payment. That's huge. Oh and did I mention the Jacuzzi???

On the diet front, I am doing terrible. Lots of take-out because of all that is going on. Once I am in a purchase and sales agreement on the house, I can refocus. Until then, I don't have time to exercise (other then cleaning the house) and trying to make healthy meals.

So, S2 just woke up and he seems to be in much better spirits today and doesn't feel as warm as he usually does. Here's hoping he's on the tail end of this thing.

~SE

[Trying]

Hey how's it going???? You havenet posted in a while???
We are planning a get together on April 29th in Boston????????

[Becca1975]

I've talked to her by email, she is just really busy with teh house and getting ready to move and stuff. I'll let her know you asked!

[Trying]

Thanks Becca!

[StrongEnough]

Hi all! Thanks for the concerns. Becca is right, things have been extrememly busy here. My house sold in ten days on the market, now we are scrambling to find our house in New Hampshire. We are taking overnight trips, day trips where we get up at 4 am......it's just crazy. We finally found something that is doable for now, in a nice area that atleast gets us there and gives us plenty of room with all the options we wanted and then some. Our offer went in yesterday. It's a wait and see game now.

On the R front, things are OK. I won't say they are great, or even good....there is a lot of stress and tension surrounding the move and stuff so there are plenty of disagreements.

On a personal note, I have been ill. I went for a CT that was inconclusive so I went for my MRI yesterday. I don't expect it to show anything major.....but it is nerve wracking nonetheless.

I also had a major emotional blow that I dare not even get into right now. I am still reeling from that, and in quite the slump. Luckily, I have a couple friends that talk me through most of it and guide me. For them I am truly grateful.

The stress of everything going on has been getting to me, so that's why I haven't posted in so long. As far as the diet goes....mine stinks right about now. I'm stuck between can't eat from nausea to eating a little bit at a time. Nothing major on losing pounds, but inches are dropping fairly quickly.

To wrap up, physically and emotionally I am a total mess. Stress is killing me. I am in a funk to the point where I really just don't even feel like talking to anyone. Sorry....but when my mood improves and I'm not so negative and withdrawn............I'll be back.

Thanks,
SE

[StrongEnough]

I was thinking quite a bit this morning and all of a sudden I came up with all these questions that I have no answer to.

When you look back on your life, how do you know that you made the right choices? Is there just a point when you settle for contentment? Is happiness everlasting? When you're on the path that God has chosen for you, how do you know? Will you know when and if you reach your destiny?

No matter how much soul searching I do, I can't seem to answer any of these questions for myself. Maybe, there are no answers. I don't know. All I know is that this move has me asking myself all these questions.

Any answers/advice?

[StrongEnough]

Well, I guess if you let it happen...your family can and will suck the joy and life right out of you. My father called this morning to see if we had heard anything on the hosue that we put the offer in on. We have not. The only thing he really had to say was that he has to agree with the rest of the family that I am making a huge mistake. Huh? Well, when did this all happen? Why wasn't I invited to the "Let's bash SE's life choices" party?

It seems that my entire family is in agreement that if I move, I am going to be alone. My H isn't close enough to his family for their liking. It's not like I see any of my family. Most of them are the party family. You only see them on holidays, birthdays, weddings and funerals. My mother I never see because of the issues we have. My father I only see when he isn't on speaking terms with my mother. So, how am I losing anything?

I am very upset about all this. I think the most upsetting thing is that all H could do was complain about my family, or lack thereof. He knows I am deeply hurt and upset about this and he supports me by asking me what is wrong. I tell him that it makes me feel like I never have any support with my choices I make and it makes me wonder if I am really making a mistake. HE kisses me, walks out of the room...and that's that.

I don't think I have ever felt as alone as I do now.

~SE

[StrongEnough]

Wow...I hadn't realized how long is has been since I posted an update. Well here it is:

THings are going great with the move. We are set to close on both properties at the beginning of June. Totally excited about that except for the mad rush to pack now.

We bought another camper. It is gorgeous. Just something else for us to be excited about.

I have finally had it with the weight issue. I was actually looking into liposuction and reconstructive surgery. I decided to pass on that (for now) and I joined Nutri System. I am waiting for my first shipment to get here. I am looking forward to relearning portion sizes and proper nutrition.

Things with H are good. A little distant, but good nonetheless. I suspect he is under an incredible amount of stress due to the move and preparing for it, as well as getting ready to transfer to a new store where he knows nobody. I am cutting him a lot of slack for his distance and his moods without suspicion.

Things with my mother have yet to improve. With the upcoming move my anxiety is through the roof. I had to come off the Xanax and go back on the Klonopin. I hate to do it but I cannot live day to day with the pressure in my chest and feeling like I am on edge and cannot breathe.

SO, that's about where I stand. I will try to catch up with everyone's sitchs today.

(((HUGS TO ALL)))

~SE