I want to throw something out there for you to think about. Distancing yourself because you are hoping to upset the apple cart is fairly manipulative. There are many of us who have distanced ourselves in our R's, I'm one of them. However, I did that when I reached a point in my R....where I needed a break from working on the R. I didn't have the energy to keep trying....it's what I referred to quite some time back as "my give a damn's busted" phase. Some people have also referred to this as the emotional flu.
I didn't distance myself in order to upset the apple cart, and I honestly didn't do it either to try to get a reaction out of my H....in fact, I knew with certainty he'd be fine with it, because he thought everything was fine anyway....he was happy in our R (we all know why now).
Anyway...it's been my experience that using distancing as a tool tends to backfire....why? Because eventually you'll get upset that what you are doing (or aren't doing in this case) isn't making any difference to your spouse and they seem just fine with it.
Distancing to give yourself space is a completely different issue. Stepping back to take a good look at yourself, to heal a bit, and to do some soul searching as to your part in your M is definitely helpful....at this point you may also choose to GAL for yourself too. I find this type of distancing helpful.
