I agree with HD. You should honestly express the fact that you are feeling emotionally distant because of the lack of sex in the marriage. You shouldn't act emotionally distant in order to get more sex.
When I posted about some of my "distancing" behavior, I was talking about behavior in response to rejecting behavior from my H in order to maintain my own self-respect or just to communicate that I had registered his rejecting behavior. For instance, I would stop initiating hugs if I got the "stiff body" response. I wouldn't stop initiating hugs in retaliation for no sex if my H like hugs. Also, even if I had stopped initiating hugs I would remain open and responsive to hugs initiated by my husband.
This isn't the kind of thing you can just do once and be done with it either. For instance, my H started complaining about having to share a bed with me again this weekend. He's a light sleeper. I move around too much..blah,blah,blah. So, I'll probably camp out in the family room this week. If that makes my H feel uncomfortably insecure about our relationship because he knows that I prefer to share a bed than that is his problem. If he feels kind of neglected because it seems like maybe I'm too easily able to replace the pleasures of cuddling with him with a rented chick flick, a couple comforters and a Skinny Cow ice cream treat, too bad. The last time I did this it took a little while but eventually he was wandering into the family room saying things like "Just so you know, if you want to sleep on the bed tonight, I washed all the sheets and adjusted the space heater so it's all nice and comfy.".
I should note here that the sleeping issue is separate from the sex issue in my sich since my H and I are both more inclined towards daytime sex.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
