Hi everyone. I could use some coaching relative to "emotional distancing". Here's the latest on my situation.
A little over a week ago, my wife ticked me off and gave me the perfect opportunity to start distancing myself. I basically got chewed out for nothing, and after stewing over it all day I brought up the issue and led into a more general relationship argument. I don't remember many of the specifics, but I basically told her that after years of trying to make our relationship better with no success whatsoever, I'm sick of trying. I also told her that I can't be in love with someone who seems to have no romantic interest in me. Mind you, I still love her, but considering that, to my knowledge, she's never spent any time reading relationship books or searching the internet for answers to relationship problems, I don't think she understands the subtle difference between loving someone and being "in love" with someone. So I'm pretty sure that she thinks I was saying that I don't love her anymore.
The next day however, she called me while I was on my way to work and acted like nothing had happened. But when I got off the phone with her and didn't say "I love you", I'm sure she noticed. For the next couple of days she avoided calling me unless it was absolutely necessary, and when I continued getting off the phone with just a goodbye, she got pouty and at one point said that I was being mean to her. Now she's not being as openly pouty, but I'm pretty sure that it's still bothering her.
Anyway, I think that I've gotten her attention, but unfortunately I don't really know what else to do. Unlike some of you, it's not as if I had been giving her a massage every night and suddenly stopped doing it - we hardly ever touch as it is. I've continued to be upbeat and happy around her, but that's how I usually am - I'm a very easygoing person. I've also continued to do my part around the house and in taking care of the kids. I can't very well start going out every night as we nearly always have something to do with the kids, plus I don't really want to come across as being purely selfish.
So my question is - what are some other ways that I can distance myself from her? What might actually make things better in the long run? I know that it's hard to come up with something that might work for someone else without knowing a lot more details about their day to day interaction, but any suggestions would certainly be appreciated.
