Tried all that. Didn't work. Got in shape, worked out, GAL, became happier/more playful, acted "as if". Absolutely ZERO difference in her.
It's funny you brought up sales. It's what I've done for a living my entire life, from the time I had two of my own paper routes as a kid, egg routes, mowed lawns/shoveled snow, etc., to my full-time career the past 23 years. I'm excedingly good at it. I win all of the awards.
But your analogy breaks down.
In sales, as a sales manager I teach my sellers to not take rejection personally. The self-talk is supposed to be "They are not rejecting ME, they are only rejecting my PRODUCT/SERVICE."
Well, in my marriage, and in the bedroom, the product IS me. And the rejection is personal, it is deep, and it hurts.
And so what I am saying is, as much as I know that intellectually much of what you say is true, we simply cannot do it anymore. Or, at least, I don't care to.
In sales, we spend our time prospecting fertile territories. When we meet with repeated rejection after rejection after rejection, we stop mining the territory. It's fruitless.
Choc.
P.S. Sooner, sorry for the hijack. But your sitch sounds so much like mine (wife used to be affectionate and very HD, husband is a "nice guy", wife refuses counseling, etc.) that I thought it was on-topic. -- Choc.
