Two Harpoons and a Guinness

[Stigmata]

Sooner, you make a great point. A lot of us read posts like Stig's, and Blackfoot's, and others, and we not only KNOW that stuff is true, we not only KNOW it works, but WE'VE EVEN DONE IT BEFORE -- often even with this same LD/ND woman lying next to us!

But we are just too damned tired and rejected to keep up that fight.

Would it work? Maybe. But I just don't care to try it anymore, at least not with her.

Ah. It's becoming very clear to me now why the the Ms here are not succeeding in their attempts. A common theme.

These approaches Ms like BF and myself espouse require a very crucial mindframe--otherwise the Fs you are trying to "sell" will not believe it one iota.

You are breaking the cardinal rule of sales. You do not believe in your product. A commission killer. I've seen it. When you go into a pitch and you are not totally confident and positive about the product the prospects can smell it a mile away. They will not buy. Why? Because they do not trust you since you do not trust yourself and the product. Their radar picks up that you might be pitching some kind of snake oil and are just trying to make a buck off of them.

And your resentment is doing you Ms in as well. The poorest salesman is the salesman who focuses on all of his past failed sales pitches over the years. And as he walks into his next meeting, in his head his defenses and cynicism project "oh, great, I have a feeling they're not gonna like my pitch. I can already tell they look like they're in that "not buying it" mood today."

And OP can smell this like fear. It's biological and genetic. Subconscious readings of body language and nonverbals...spurring on the "gut feeling." The primal fight or flight based gut feeling that says you are not to be trusted since you are fearful and do not believe in your product and self.

I get it, guys. I really do. But your sabotaging your Rs from square one with the EC/ML attempts. We can only hold one thought in our conscious minds at a time. If that thought is negative, then your Fs will immediately pick up on it.

They will not trust you. You don't believe in the R or them. And Fs can smell BS and incongruency a mile away.

What's the solution? You need to start with yourselves. "As ifs." If you want to make your Rs work? Then you have to force yourself to be positive and confident even if you're fighting back the "she's just gonna push me away" thoughts. Have you tried forcing a smile? Smiling at her before you make your approach?

Along with thoughts and dialogue like: "i'm a stud. I'm a stud. I'm a stud. No F can resist me. No F can resist me. No F can resist me...because I'm confident, happy, and hcarismatic. And if she does? Her loss. Not gonna let her negativity drag my mood down. Any F would find me to be an attractive catch, frankly. I know eventually if I maintain this level of constant positivity and being upbeat, she has no choice but to also start feeling positive vibes within herself."

Ye Reap What Ye Sow. It's Scripture for a reason. It works for everything, including inner dialogue.

The Principle of Sympathetic Tonal Resonance. If you strike an B or C note on a piano in a large empty room with one other piano way across this room, the B or C string on that "passive" piano will vibrate every single time...essentially feeding off the vibration "vibe" of the projecting piano.

Fake it until you make it, guys, if you want to stay in your Rs. Stop dwelling. Stop focusing on negatives. Find the things about your Fs that really turn you on or make you feel connected with her and fixate on these things that drew your attraction to her in the first place.. Believe me, if your brain is telling you that you could act assertive and positive with another F but not with your SO...because you don't view them as sexy or playful anymore, your SOs can psychically smell that negative bad smell.

And I don't fault them for shutting you down. They can't help it. It's biology. Sex is a huge vulnerability and trust act. Like the prospect, if they can't put all of their trust in you to approach them with 100 percent confidence and positivity about your "product" they are not going to buy...ever. And this goes double or triple if you do not view them as an sexy vibrant beautiful woman you deeply love. Any lesser thoughts about them makes them feel cheapened in their own eyes. And no one wants to feel bad about self worth. "Pull the plug on him" her thoughts scream. "Shut him down. Protect self."

Change your inner dialogue from fear, resentment over past rejections, and overfocusing on "she's probably just gonna push me away" to positive failure is not an option because I'm going to make her laugh and not let rejection faze me even if she does reject me kinda guy. So don't try and make these kinds of suggested approaches with your Fs until you really really believe in yourself through positive self-talk. It will never work otherwise and once she sees you "faking it" and freezes you out, the next time you try the assertive/playful approach she will recognize it as the same ploy. And once that happens the only way out is the harder road of forcing yourself to believe in yourself over a long period of time so the pattern repeats and she starts trusting you again.

It's the winner's mentality. Vince Lombardi was a real genius at this psychology...every single time. A reporter once asked him after the Packers lost a game, "So, Vince, how does it feel to lose the game?"

To which he replied, "We didn't lose. We just ran out of time."

Reporter: "So, Ms, how does it feel to be rejected by your Fs in the bedroom yet again?"

Collective M: "We didn't get rejected. We just haven't shown her behavior that draws her attraction. Once we do, I can assure you, you'll stop asking me questions like that, son."

Do you love your Fs? Do you want to be with them for the long haul? Then ya gotta make the changes first in your thinking and resolve before you try to scale her defensive walls. PMA before the assault. Low morale kills more armies faster than the strength of any physical enemy.

Think like Vince, Ms. He created a dynasty for a reason.

-Stigmata-