Your posts have a similar "theme" so I thought I'd reply to both of them at once. You've both given me some things to think about and it will take me some time to decide how far I'm willing to go in hopes of ultimately making my marriage better. At the moment, I'm more or less playing devil's advocate with any advice that I get as a means of determining what might actually work best for me. So if it seems like I'm saying "I don't think that will work", I'm really not. I think that you've both given me some good advice.
Lillie - my only concern about being too obvious about my withdrawl is that my wife is quite sharp and I'm afraid she'll view what I'm doing as nothing more than a ploy. If nothing else, I need to make sure that I think things out pretty well before doing anything. I do get your point though about making my message clear.
Mojo - I had to re-read that first post of yours about three times before it made much sense. But you'll be glad to know that I eventually caught on to what you were saying.
As a side point, I thought it was interesting that you mentioned anniversary cards. I always have to go through a lot of cards at the card store on occasions like Valentines Day and anniversarys because most of the cards say something about being lovers or something similar. I would feel ridiculous giving her such a card because it wouldn't really be true, and she knows that as well as me. As a result, I usually have to settle for a humorous card. It actually kind of makes me sad as I'm reading through the cards realizing that they must apply to some people's marriage relationships, but not to mine.
Your second post got right to the point. I definitely love my wife very much, and three years ago when I started posting on here I could still say with certainty that I was "in love" with her. Now I'm not as sure about that. She still has all of those great qualities that I was seeking in a wife, but I never would have fallen in love with her if I didn't also feel that she was in love with me. (That may not be completely accurate as it begs a "chicken or the egg" kind of question, but hopefully you get the point.) Anyway, now I don't feel that she's in love with me anymore and it's changing the way that I feel about her. So what you've suggested that I say to her may very well be true. However, I do still love her and, even as miserable as I am, I don't want to hurt her. Maybe that's what I'll have to do in order to get through to her, but it's not something that I'm looking forward to. If there are ways that I could make some progress without going to such extremes, that would be my preference.
