Thank you for your comments Lillie and Lou. I agree with you Lillie that going to counseling by myself would probably be helpful. I just haven't been able to get motivated to do it as I don't really know where to start.
I mentioned yesterday that I need some help coming up with ways that I can distance myself emotionally from my wife without coming across as cold and angry. What makes that so hard is that our relationship is already so much like nothing more than roommates that I'm afraid distancing myself from her any more would seem like an obvious attempt to "get back at her" for the way she's been treating me. Does anyone have some suggestions? I've already stopped initiating sex and I never attempt to kiss her romantically as I got sick of always being rejected. I'll list a few ideas that I have for the sake of feedback. I've tried some of them before, but I'm interested in what everyone thinks.
1. Whenever my wife and I get off the phone we each other, we always end with an "I love you". I actually like doing that, but I think it might be one of those things that continues to make my wife feel like we have a close relationship, even if we really don't. If I ever get a wild hair and just say "bye", it seems to bother her. I definitly don't think I should refuse to return an "I love you" if she says it first, but maybe I should try to avoid saying it first and just get off the phone with a goodbye whenever I can without seeming like I'm making an attempt to cut it out altogether. Or maybe I should cut it out altogether?
2. While I don't initiate sex or romantic kissing any more, I do occasionally cuddle up to my wife, or at least attempt to, in bed. I assume that's an obvious thing that I should stop doing.
3. About the only time I ever get a kiss (nothing more than a quick peck on the lips) is when my wife leaves for work in the morning. Like the "I love you's", I don't think I should turn my head and refuse to kiss her as that would be too obvious, but how about if I never initiate a goodbye kiss myself and, when possible, try to be unavailable (i.e. in the shower, brushing my teeth, etc.) about the time she's leaving for work?
4. How about if I stop calling her during the day just to say hello and to see how her day is going? I could also stop calling on my way home from work to let her know that I'm headed home and to ask if she needs me to pick anything up.
5. On gift-giving occasions, I always find her things that I know she'll like as I pay attention whenever she indicates an interest in something. She used to do the same for me, but now I seldom get much more than a card. Should I fail to get her a gift, at least on occasion?
These are probably not the greatest ideas, and some of them may not be any good at all, but please let me know what you think and offer some other suggestions if you have any.
