Re Sooner 1992 I should be a loving husband who does everything possible to make her happy, Happy H yes. doing everythin to make her happy=dormat. BE reasonable anf friendly. "Doing Evertyhing" leads to her treating you like a doormat, lowers your value to her in her eyes and you become a servant, you lose your husband status. BTDT, tried some of that behavior.
if she's going to treat me like crap I'm going to do the same to her. Tit for tat is for first graders/boys.
Standing up for yourself/ assertive, not agressive, is being a man. Wives generally use boys but treat H's like men.
I am not claiming to have many answers, just say what what did not work for me.
I started trying to just talk to her about it, always with the intention of being loving and calm Good aproach. Sometimes brutal honesty works the best.
I had a hard time not coming across as cold and angry. Join the club. It is difficult to be caring, firm, not cold, etc. FWIW.
