Quote: I also stopped initiating or immediately discontinued any other positive behavior to which I regularly got a negative response, such as hugs or pleasant conversations
This is excellent advice. It accomplishes several things at once. It gives the other person "space," it shows them all the work you've been doing (by its absence), it stops rewarding bad behavior, it constitutes taking care of yourself, it upsets the apple cart, it puts both of you outside the comfort zone, and may even kick you both out of your ruts.
It's interesting that in the quote above (I'm not entirely clear on who was being quoted), it took the person TWO YEARS to start missing their partner... lord...
