No....you didn't hear me correctly. I said EXPAND your definition not CHANGE it. Your defnition will still include your idea of "romance"...but why can't it include the things he does as well? I see it this way....
If you continually focus on the passion aspect right now....the aspect you are missing and craving.....you are missing the things he is doing as well. Therefore you probably aren't validating what he views as his attempts at "romance" until he learns to do what you view as "romance". By adding those things that he DOES do for you to your definition of romance.....and accepting that this is A way romance CAN be shown you give both of you a better chance of success in this area. Lately, I'm seeing this at work in my R.
I finally came to the point where I started to truly accept that my H is an AOS type of person....he just doesn't have the same LL's I do...end of story. He's not "romantic" by what is probably your definition (and used to be mine...you know "passionate"...the way Chrome is). BUT by choosing to accept his AOS as one of his forms of romance I've found that some of my behaviors towards him have changed (also prior to DDay), but that meant me accepting him for who he is....right now. Not who I want him to be. Then I began to notice after awhile that his behaviors towards me were becoming what I perceived (in my original perception) to be....more passionate and romantic. When I finally let go and truly accepted him for who he was....it was like he felt free to let go and start doing things differently, because I wasn't judging him anymore.
It doesn't happen quickly, it's a gradual change for us.....but it HAS happened....it WAS happening prior to the day I practiced the rose shotput after Valentine's day too. I don't want you to think he's doing these things now because he's trying to make up to me....what I'm talking about was all prior to that.
