I think you missed the point of Honeypots post...... No, I didn't miss the point. I just disagree with it I found expanding my definition of what an R should be or what "romance" should be...helped us both have a better chance at success. Here's my problem. To me, "romance" has within it a very passionate, sexual aspect. My H has always been good at planning romantic trips, writing romantic cards, notes, etc. But none of that is very meaningful to me because I do not have the passion to go with it. I like it. But it's not what I want/need. So you are saying I need to change this want/need? If I do, that means I will accept never having sexual passion in my life...forever. That's it. Give it up. Don't try and talk me into trying, trying, trying, with H. It's just not there. As BF says, (sexual) attraction is not a choice. I can "act" like it is but then I would be faking. And I honestly think H and I have been "faking it" our entire M. I am not willing to give up my desire for intimacy/passion. So logically, the conclusion is staring me in the face. I am not ready to do that either (for now) so I am going to fake it somewhat for now. And I hate that, so the next conclusion is avoid the sex. So now I am in a full-on SSM with really no hope for any major turn-around that will ever be satisfactory to me. Can you tell I'm in a pissy mood?
