Quote: I hear lots of people saying it, but how do you REALLY do it?
Howdy, chrome. I think the answer to that question is that you do it one day at a time, one behavior at a time. It takes years to un-do, just as it took years to do, kwis? You've already got such a good head start going, try not to get frustrated at the lack of warp speed. I know it's hard.
Fwiw, I strive for that honeymoon feeling in my own marriage and we pull off a lesser version of it, for the most part. I mean, with little ones underfoot it'll never be fireworks and ML on the spot, but it's soooooo much more than "hi how ya doin" at the end of a day. I think working towards a place in your M where you greet each other with *real* emotion and passion, at the conclusion of some time apart, is an attainable goal.
Keep at it! If it's any consolation, nowadays when I hear my H describe me, he does it in terms of the "new" me. He no longer speaks of the old me; he doesn't remember her, so thoroughly have I replaced the old behaviors. It took a loooong time, tho. Many many times he'd talk of what I'm "like" and I'd get frustrated because he hadn't noticed my changes. Little by little, they sunk into his skull and now it is second nature.
