No, I'm smoking hot because I'm a freakin nerd, and I'm tall, dark (at least while this tan lasts), and handsome. Plus I can sing and play music really well, I likes to get sensitive and emotional, and I listen and communicate well. I actually find a woman's perspective fascinating, so I'm not going to just bob my head and say "uh huh" while plotting how to get you naked. Funny thing is, my W doesn't seem to see any of this, so who the fock cares how hot I am. GRRRR!!!!!
First of all the best part of the "nerd" personality is the Intelligence. That's one of the hottest things in a guy (according to LFL). Can't deal with stupid men. Blech.
So on top of that, yes, you have all the other qualities mentioned. You know it so let it work for you. As for your sentence about "who cares if my W doesn't notice", wrong perspective Chromie. You need to believe it before she will see it. And if she still doesn't see it after all that time, then that's her loss for sure. Do I have to pull out the big guns, the bee's knees comment again! You know how I feel about you Chrome L. Use some of that energy to make Yourself feel better. You cannot control your W. Give up the ghost already. This is how I see it. I am M to my H who I love but he does not define me as a person (anymore). I know I am a sexy, attractive, smart, funny woman who will continue to live my life that way whether he notices it, rewards it, or not. You can do the same. No?