Hey there, read your last post and it hit a chord. My H has similar issues...though his feelings of "you can do better than me, I screwed up too much" translates to "I am afraid to love you" which then leads to "now I will run away in a variety of ways: emotionally, totally (break-up), A, etc)." Usually, these phases are interspersed with a hard "pushing Always away" by being mean, rude, aloof etc. I suspect this is happening now, which his facing of his A.
I think similar things may apply in your case. Wherever the root (mother, previous R, etc), it's YOUR issue now.
I know you've been through a lot, but as one friend explained to me, think of this insecurity, vulnerability as the child in him. As the SO, it's your duty, out of love, to take care of this in a person. If you think hard, there are things he does to take care of YOUR vulnerabilities/insecurities.
I guess, we're not perfect, we are human and weak. By coupling with another, we seek a person who will recognize these 'cracks' in us, love it and protect it.
Just a different take on things. I'm trying REALLY hard in the compassion department these days, so please forgive!
