WCW,

I know this was a bit up in the thread, but it caught my eye.

Quote:

When is time to take the duct tape off and let OUR feelings out? Does that time ever come? or do we live with unresolved issues and never speak our mind? eerrr, Ugh!



You'll know. If you're still questioning it, then it's not time.

Oddly, I hit a point where it doesn't matter anymore. (shrug) Would rehashing it move us forward? No. I'm not saying your feelings aren't important, and they shouldn't be expressed--that's what the BB is good for. My opinion is it just adds to the guilt and drags down the process of moving on with life if you spout it all to your partner.

Quote:

He still seems very uncomfortable with my negative feelings -- sad, anger, hurt, disappointment. When I expressed those on the phone, calmly and collectedly, he told me that he didn't feel "safe" with me.



Guilt, plain and simple. My DH still can't handle it when I get upset--if it's about our past. It doesn't mean you won't be able to discuss other delicate topics, just that you can't (and probably shouldn't) discuss this one just yet.

Quote:

From an outside (albeit not completely unbiased) perspective, there's a lot of emotional blackmail that goes on with his D16/XW and him. I'm concerned that he won't be able to break that "spell" just because she graduates h.s.



This is really for him to deal with... You can't solve his problems for him. Nor can you let them get to you.

Hope all is well.

[color:"purple"]Nevanna[/color]