You are correct about praying for the changes in ourselves and I do need more wisdon to stay on path with that cause. I never though of it that way. Thank you for pointing that out.
"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue." Proverbs 17:27-28
Just in case you were wondering, I deleted all of the links to all of the blogs. Not that I probably couldn't find them again, but I'd have to do a search.
Gosh...it's been so long since I've posted to my own thread! Shame on me!
Things have been going great with SO! Yay! We've been on his "off duty" cycle so we've been getting to spend a lot of time together, in spite of our busy schedules. Nearly every time we are together, he brings up being married or the wedding, but we still haven't gotten to the proposal part. He's so funny! We had a minor tiff on Monday night. I wouldn't even really call it a tiff. It just basically boiled down to both of us being tired and kind of grumpy. After the ML fairy visited, all was well again! Amazing how that works, eh? Probably one of the best lessons I've learned throughout this process is to keep my mouth shut most of the time when I start getting irritated, and if I do speak, choose my words very carefully.
I think I need to learn how to DR with other people. I've run into a couple problems with a coworker, and I've also been having difficult conversations with my daughter lately. She calls to complain, asks for advice, then doesn't like what I have to say.
I am glad for things going your way. Keep up the good work.
"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue." Proverbs 17:27-28
Not that you need this, but Michelle WD's book "Change Your Life and Everyone in It" deals with DBing in that greater context you're talking about. Same strategies, different characters.
SO began daddy duty on Sunday evening, so now I have a bit of time again. I always feel badly when I don't post to my own thread as often as I should. I remember my early days in this community, and how I poured over posts by successful DR'ers looking for clues and answers.
The best I can summarize is to take things slow, have patience, don't make mountains out of molehills, and you WILL get through this and even be a better person for it, especially if you stick to the basic DR principles.
I'm finally re-establishing a regular gym routine again, and it feels SOOOOOOOOOOO good! I haven't been in a regular routine since before I moved here, almost 4 years ago. I love the weight-lifting and the treadmill work afterwards. I love being in an all-female gym with a bunch of regular women who aren't college girls looking to get laid. This week my schedule will be Mon/Wed/Sat.
Tonight I'm working on a group paper that is due today. Thursday evening will be Maundy Thursday activities at church. Sunday some of my kids will be here for Easter and will be joining me at church for breakfast and worship. With SO on dad-duty and his D15's b-day this weekend, I probably won't see him at all during the weekend. We have our weekly lunch on Thursday, and that may very well be it for this week.
While on one hand, that's kind of a drag, on the other hand I appreciate the breaks and I know it helps him miss me.
That's about all I have for now, folks. Things are going very well. The weather FINALLY warmed up here, too! Yay! It actually feels like Spring! I may even walk home from work this afternoon -- 2.3 mi. is a good stretch of the legs, and I have my dinner planned for tonight too. I only cook for myself about once every 7-10 days.
You sound great! I like the feel of this last update, with lots of self-care/maintenance in many areas. Even though the days away from SO may be difficult, you're wisely using them to recharge and stretch yourself.
I imagine that this work is all the more important in the sizable effort to piece the R back to s/t wonderful.
Had a minorly difficult conversation on the phone with SO last night.
Yesterday he worked to coordinate some golf lessons at a local community college for the two of us and another couple. The next open class begins in early June, and SO went ahead and registered.
The other 3 of us did not register yet. I'm not too worried about it yet and will register in a week or so after I take care of some other bills and things. However, last night on the phone, SO made the some comments along the lines of:
I don't want this to be another one of those things we talk about doing but never do. I don't want this to be another "trip to Greece" thing, ya know?
In all honesty, this really pissed me off. In the 4 years we were together before the bomb, I never bailed on anything and I always did what I said I was going to do. As far as the trip to Greece goes, that was something we were making plans for when he dropped the bomb. We'd started a joint savings jar for it, and when I moved out, I took my half out of the jar.
I really had to bite my tongue on this one. I did NOT point out to him that I never stopped planning for Greece; the plans stopped when he ripped my heart out of my chest and handed it to me on a paper plate. (I'm just venting here!) I did not point out to him that it was OW2 Gigantor who was constanting making little social plans trying to fill up everyone's calendar, and that it was not my fault when other people didn't want to do all of her little social activities, both pre- and post-bomb. Whatever happened post-bomb had nothing to do with me.
But I didn't say a thing. He could tell I was irritated and he asked me about it. I told him it wasn't anything worth arguing or debating.
So, that's my update.
Funny thing. The more I write about it/think about it, the more agitated I become over it.
Interesting... Kind of proves the work I did in "Feeling Good".
He's so funny! We had a minor tiff on Monday night. I wouldn't even really call it a tiff. It just basically boiled down to both of us being tired and kind of grumpy. After the ML fairy visited, all was well again! Amazing how that works, eh? 
Probably one of the best lessons I've learned throughout this process is to keep my mouth shut most of the time when I start getting irritated, and if I do speak, choose my words very carefully. 
(I'm just venting here!) I did not point out to him that it was OW2 Gigantor who was constanting making little social plans trying to fill up everyone's calendar, and that it was not my fault when other people didn't want to do all of her little social activities, both pre- and post-bomb. Whatever happened post-bomb had nothing to do with me.