Feeling Alone in my marriage

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My H and I were separated for 90 days over the summer, he came back in Sept. Thought he wanted to work on the marriage at first, but slowly his emotions disappeared. I just returned from a trip to St. Louis on Wed. Since then we have not spent any quality time together. Every night something else happens. Today being Sat and an unusually warm day I wanted to do something and spend time together finally. Instead he was out all day. I made dinner, figuring that would be time together as a family. Then I got a call to have a bbq at his sisters-a place I do not like to go. It is a group he continues to hang out with since the separation and drink. I am totally an outsider when I try to fit in and go. I was never consulted about this, just told. I confronted him about it and that I wanted to spend time w/him. He doesn't care. He says I would rather be in the house and basically that I am no fun. Felt great. I just have not felt any emotion from him in some time and I cannot get him to discuss anything. He says we don't discuss, we fight. I CAN discuss, he cannot. He is not even willing to try. Yes, we had a few counselling sessions, and then he refused to go, even when I found a new counsellor. Seems he is not willing to do anything and is cold as can be. I just feel totally unloved, unwanted and unappreciated. I have told him that if he leaves again it will be for good, so think wisely before making that decision. He hides his feelings and once in a while lets something slip. Once in Dec he said he didn't want a divorce to upset the kids and to waste our 22 yrs together. But what kind of life is this for me? I love him but do not feel loved by him. It feels one sided. My sister in law asked me once if I could live with that. I keep hoping that it is a phase but it doesn't seem to change. I am a highly emotional person and need to know where I stand. I aked him when he came back home to not hold anything inside and I would do the same, whether or not it would hurt me, but apparently he has not done that. He is still keeping all feelings locked up tight. What can I do, can anyone relate??