Thanks for caring. I have been in a long battle with my h and since we are separated I have been trying to look at my part. One of the things that has gone on in our marriage is that he is cold, distant and not very thoughtful, this is of course on top of the 2 affairs and several emotional affairs. He is supposedly clean and I will start counseling with him in a month if he is completely free of all women stuff. He is not currently in an affair that I know of but of course we aren't living together. It would be hard as he is with our kids 5days a week at night for a couple of hours. My problem stems from their being so much pain between us that I get controlling and feel unloved by this guy. He has been reading db and doing the dark thing I can tell. I want to scream because he has been dark our whole 20 year marriage. He needs to come into the light. Again focusing on him and not me. I need to look and see what I can do to make him feel less controlled and more cared for. It is so hard when I don't feel loved much at all. We shall see what happens in a month or so. Thanks again for caring,
