Barney, saw your post before it was deleted. I find myself at a lost in regards to your response.
I didn't accuse you of being bitter, I said you had been hurt. And it's hard to keep those hurts from rearing their head especially in a long-term issue regarding something as delicate as sex. It's a reality that you can't build an intimate relationship if you can't somewhat let go of the past and be willing to build something new with your wife.
I don't understand why you would say that you were in a positive place and that my responses to you are responsible for you now being in a bad place.
I'll be frank and tell you that I see it as blameshifting and scapegoating to accuse me of being responsible for destroying whatever happy thoughts you were having.
My intention was to give you hope. I don't see how saying that your wife can get there sexually is a negative thing. I don't understand why you lashed out at me in anger. I'm not your mom, nor was I trying to approach you from some motherly personna which you evidently found offensive.
I'm open to you pointing out areas where I was offensive, I'll be glad to explain them or apologize for them, whichever is necessary. I'm open to being told where I was wrong, misunderstood or presumed. If, on the other hand, you find my input so offensive, just let me know and I'll bow out.
Summed up, I see a wife who, faulty or not, is actively trying to work things out with you.
Sucks that she didn't do that in year's past. But you both are too aware to let it go back to that, your conscience won't let you do it unperturbed. But you have to be actively, consistantly engaged in the process, too.
What you did in the hotel room was the equivalent of HG's wife reaching over and picking up a book while he's loving on her. You saw the forum's reactions to that. How was what you did any different? Is my responce to that what you found so offensive?
