Gel asked: What if...what you are wanting is simply not who she is Barn?
and: Is what you are now wanting of NG anything she's ever been in the past?
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That's exactly what I was saying when I posted earlier about what I wanted may not be possible or fair to expect of her. If we're right in our speculation, how do I communicate to her what would make me feel wanted?
What would be the point to say what she couldn't do or be? Wouldn't that just hurt her more? I don't want to do that. I never have...even when I've spoken out of my anger and sexual frustration.
So...how do I stay honest and avoid the "in between" hole that this leaves me? I've either got to find another way to live with that or stay out of it altogether. And I don't know how.
We entered M as a guy who wanted a f*ckfest (as HP called it) and a woman who was overwhelmed by that. She refused and criticized what I wanted and I refused to "buy" sex with romance. I don't know if she would have wanted me or sex if I had come into the M with a different attitude or approach, but at the risk of hurting her by saying it, the answer to your question is "No, she has never been that way with me."
As you've suggested, that's another reason why what I need to feel wanted may be unfair to ask for.
