If this had come up just a few years ago, I would have answered something regarding frequency and variety, but NG has made some significant moves my direction in those areas during that time. What I now know is that I'm looking for more than that. I'm looking for intensity (that's not the right word for what I mean, but I don't know a better one). I'm trying to say that I need something emotional, too.
Most of that could have been written by me so I can relate to what you are going through. It's that inexplainable "desire" that you want from your S that has nothing to do with frequency. Intensity was a good word. You want to feel Wanted and not that your S is simply doing it because they should. Am I close?
