In spite of my well documented failures, NG and I are trying to work some things out. She has asked me the $Million question: "What would I have to do to make you (me) feel wanted?
I'm working through the fear of not feeling wanted by her doing what I tell her. (The "She's only doing that because I told her, not because she wants to/me" feeling.) I'm having trouble putting into words what it would take to make me feel wanted. I don't want to be negative and focus on the things that made me feel un-wanted, and I told her so. I'm trying to be clear, but careful in how I tell her.
If this had come up just a few years ago, I would have answered something regarding frequency and variety, but NG has made some significant moves my direction in those areas during that time. What I now know is that I'm looking for more than that. I'm looking for intensity (that's not the right word for what I mean, but I don't know a better one). I'm trying to say that I need something emotional, too.
