Ok....well put. First i have a question. Why does everyone here use intials for everything. It's impossible to understand!!!
I'll be as honest as I can. It sounds like your husband is giving you mixed signals "be more forward" and then "not interested". Perhaps I was wrong about him. He seems as brazen as you do in his sexual thinking. To be honest....all of this sounds like a dirty movie to me (not that I have seen one!!) and I am probably the last person you want to be giving you advice.
As for me I'm not sure what you want me to know. My grandparents died before I was born. Actually they died in a car accident on our road, which made it a little painful as I was growing up. My mother did a great job raising myself and my 8 brothers and sisters, my father left us before I was born and I see him only sporadicaly now. My family is spread out all over the country now so I don't see them very often. I grew up never really thinking about sex. I guess I just figured it would happen when it happened. I became very immersed in the catholic church, and I remain a very faithfull member of the church to this day. I was never abused nor did I have any bad sexual experiences.
We use initials to make getting these posts written quicker....there is a page that has a whole list of what things mean when you go to the Index. You'll catch on.
Also, I do wish you would respond as to why you don't like sex. There are women on here who currently are married to men, perhaps like yourself, who truly don't understand....and it's killing them inside to feel so rejected, ignored, unloved, and undesireable.
And I remind you....you were being called a "Troll" because well...your approach did appear that way. It did appear very inflammatory, and "Trolls" often do that. If you truly want to participate on the BB's that's cool...but please do be willing to open up.
If you truly are an asexual male on this board, then you are a definite miniority and there will be women on here dying to ask questions of you....so please be honest, but refrain from being cruel or condescending to us. We aren't dirty because we enjoy sex, it doesn't make us hussies (not saying you are calling us that), and it doesn't make us nymphos either.
The people here will be supportive of you if you will let them be. Just be aware, that no one here wants to be judged by anyone else...so if you come off that way, you will be put in your place by many of us.
I urge you to really start your own thread and post your side of this. It would be quite interesting to me to read an asexual males perspective.
Thank you for your honest and refreshing post GEL.
I wish everybody on this board had the patients of a Saint the way you do.
t answer your question about why I don't like sex. Think of it this way...is there a vegetable that you don't like to eat? Do you know why you hate the vegetable? No. You just know you don't like the way it tastes. That's the best explaination I can give to woman who's husbands say they don't like sex.
I now understand why I was being called a "Troll" I did some research and found out exactly what it was.
Now...one thing I should tell you is that just because I find you nice on the board doesn't mean that I agree with you sexual morals. I still think it is completly unhealthy to put a mans p__nis in your mouth. I have never had a woman do that nor will I ever. I am a very religious person and I'm pretty sure that's not what god intended us to do with it.
So...I'm very happy to listen to your point of view, as long as you won't criticize me for voicing mine.
You don't have to agree with me, or anyone else on this board...everyone is free to their own opinion. I just ask you to understand that in your perception of sex, as a male....you are definitely in the minority....even in a minority as far as women go. However, as long as YOU are happy with who you are, really that's all that matters....but you can give many women on here some insight.
Unfortunately, your veggie analogy doesn't really help me. I can tell you exactly why I don't like the foods I don't like. Really....can you tell me if it's simply contact with someone else in that close of a proximity that you are uncomfortable with? When you would try to have sex, did you get tied up in a feeling of ickiness so you couldn't relax? Or did you simply find the feeling of being inside a woman gross? I know I'm asking very specific questions...but it's stuff like this that will help some of us understand.
I will tell you though, that your description of your outlook on sex has me thinking like Honeypot...you talk about it as if it is "dirty". Is that your perception, or it merely how it's coming across on here? I'm not trying to take anything away from your opinion, you are entitled to it.....but people have been having sexual contact in many fashions for eons, I know you know that....and none of it is "wrong" unless one person objects and the other insists and does it anyway. Now if you told your XW you didn't like something and she insisted upon doing it, that's wrong. I do know this though, your XW was in A LOT of pain.
Just out of curiosity...do you have any phobias or anything like OCD? Not trying to diagnose you or anything...merely curious from some things you have said.
I just realized I sill thought I was talking with Nicky. I was wondering why the troll issue came up again.
Anyway..this has been an up and down day. Thank you so much for your patience. I doubt I'll have a chance to talk to you again (I've been told my time would be more wisely spent somewhere else). So I probably won't be back on this site again.
So thanks again. And I'm sorry this turned out to be all about me.
Glad to see the H went with you to C. I think that is wonderful!
The EC in the bedroom extending to the rest of your relationship. I am sure adventually it will all interlap and come together with time. Just remember to do some things outside of the bedroom that create EC for the two of you also.
Hope your little one is good! Just got back today so got tons of housework to do but I wanted to check in and see how things were going
I beg to differ on the oral sex and religion. There are actually 2 references to a woman performing oral sex on a man and at least one on a man performing oral sex on a woman. One in the song of soloman goes like this "She shall come into his orchard and she shall drink the sweetness of his fruits. This is a LOVE poem and it is NOT talking about a real orchard. God never intends for sex to be DIRTY, it is HIS creation and gift to man and wife. He does take a very NEGATIVE view on sex OUTSIDE this union, but inside this union, there are virtually no restrictions.
As for the penis being unhealthy, I know some people think this, but urine for example, is very sterile, so I am not sure why the penis is considered dirty.
Oh, I too am very religious, practicing Lutheran for 46 years, but I do wonder at why you are so turned off to sex because of religion? Heck, celibacy is something that is NOT to be done in most cases according to the Bible. The Bible WANTS man and wife to have sex to build a stronger union and to remove temptation.
Thanks, and yes, S is doing better. He still has a huge hole in his tongue where he cut it. I guess it takes a while to heal. I can only hope it heals before he cuts it open again!
Let us know how you're doing, after the housework of course!!
Hugs, Nicky
"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am,' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"
Frederick Collins
Please do not twist the words of the bible. They have already been warped enough to support the likes of abortionists and homosexuals. God intended sex to be between man and his wife for the strict reasoning of PRO-CREATION. This does include using your body as an amusement park. Therefore I believe that the bible was refering to an orchard in the poem you cited, there is nothing sexual there at all.
In "Matthew - Chapter 5" it states:
"If your right eye causes you to lust , even if it is your good eye, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."
CeMar...I wonder have you talked to your priest or pastor about your liberal thoughts on sex? This is something I advise you to do.
