Well, it’s been awhile and I thought I’d post an update. H and I went to MC last Monday for the first time. H really liked the C, which is a plus. C helped us set some small boundaries, like agreeing on the number of nights H comes to bed (for now and gradually increasing) and agreeing to do more things that I suggest (like family time/couple time). So far, he’s held up his part of the “agreements”. H was a little surprised that C didn’t give me “homework”, other than keeping on H to make sure he keeps up his part of the bargain. I said, well, when you have an issue about something, I guess then she’ll give me something to work on too.
One of the most interesting parts of the whole session was when we were talking about the severity of my feelings and that H didn’t realize that I had been contemplating a separation. C asked H what would happen if I left, what would he do. He said that he’d have to fight to get me back. Wow. I wonder if that was an Ah-Ha moment for him.
The very odd thing is that now that we are ML on a weekly basis (1-2x/wk - no complaints on this much needed improvement!!), I thought we would have that EC outside the bedroom again. I am realizing that just because we ML it doesn’t necessarily mean a good EC. We will keep working on that.
Happy Monday, Nicky
"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am,' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"
Frederick Collins
