I said, good, maybe you can do a little going down tonight? He didn’t answer. I said, well, is that a yes, no, maybe? He said, yeah,
I like that bold yet veiled! Got your point across well as to what you would like.
I said, oh, I didn’t get “Let’s ML tonight” outta that. Maybe you could be more clear next time?
Yeah I would have missed that to. Well it would not even have come close to making me see it as a indication that he was wanting to have sex
H is flipping out about something (I don’t even remember what it was at this point) I gave him a wrong look or something
Sounds like my house lol. Things explode out of the blue from little nothingnesses.
I would really enjoy that!
Me to even if the road does not lead to the place we think we are walking to.
Yes, I can relate to that too. The sexual heat is finally there with us but I feel no emotional heat. Either me giving it or me receiving it from him. I agree that is affected by what happens outside the bedroom.
I wish my H could see and understand this. My H seems to think that since the sexual heat can be brought on that it entails every element of satisfaction even emotional and that difference between us causes great voids.
I ask him if that’s why he ignores our problems, hoping they will just go away.
Again great way to broach the subject direct but not accussing!
I told him that if keeps ignoring the issues, I wont’ be here to keep ignoring.
Good boundry open for discussion seems like a great way to start laying them down to me.
He says, what’s that supposed to mean. Last week everything was fine, now this week you’re leaving tomorrow. I was like, what? I did not say I was leaving tomorrow, nor did I say last week that everything was fine.
I think this is good also he told you the way he interputted what he was hearing and you addressed the fact that was not exactly what you were saying.
felt good that I set a boundary…as vague as it was
It opened the door to setting more solid boundries if needed. IMO
I do love my H. And there is a part of me that is still “in love” with him. I don’t want to be with anyone else. I find him very attractive and sexy. He is very smart (intellectual), very funny (the best sense of humor of anyone I know), has turned in to a remarkable father, is very kind to people in general
I stand in awe of this description. It came so fluidly that I know you were not seeking for the right thing to say or how you think you should feel. It was real and honest and natural. He is lucky!
To strengthen my love for him, I would need to feel secure with him and to feel that he wants and needs me as much as I want/need him. Right now, I don’t feel secure with him. We are always walking on egg shells. He avoids me and my attempts to communicate about our relationship. I don’t really know how he feels about me or our M.
Feeling secure in another persons love. Funny how sometimes we miss signals that should make us feel that way. Or how it becomes a condition of comfort and exceptance of our own love for someone. Sadly in my case some of the things H does that makes him think I should feel secure in his love is exactly what makes me feel insecure and keeping him at arms length.
I want to feel/act like a couple who loves each other. He used to do small, sweet things for me. Little notes. A flower (and not picking one from the yard). Time together with out the tv on. We used to play cards and board games together. This is all stuff he did while we were dating and earlier in our M. He used to talk to me.
So romance and QT is something that you yearn for. Understandable. Romance is something we seem to loose in a relationship even though in some ways it is what lead us to the relationship so that missing element is interpretted in lack of interest. The thing about the flower and not out of the yard I am so different on. One of my enduring memories of my H was a time when we were so poor and it was valentines day. H who was bf back then came home bearring a armful of wild roses. He had stopped and picked on his way home. To this day that is better then anything he ever bought me. And my kids and my H pick flowers for me all the time. And it always makes me stop and think about the fact that no matter if they were out playing mowing the lawn or just walking up the drive way they were thinking about me. I was on there mind and they took that 20 extra steps out of there way to pick the flower to show me just that. I am not very materialistic but I do have a sentimental side. H use to bring me those fake roses from the gas station alot they meant nothing to me. They sit at the check out stand of every gas station. But now if he stopped and picked me a daisy it was sweet. Im wierd.
yes, lots of resentment
Funny thing about resentment it makes things that really matter not to use become big issues. Thats why I feel you need to approach this soon. Before it becomes a demon in your soul
Okay, will I am not going to get into this now, but, thanks for “looking out for me” with that thread. I just don’t agree with a lot of what is said there.
Np. I can see how when you are in the middle of it you can get so caught up in it and turn it around to look like all bad. I don't disagree with the facts that they present I just feel they are presented only from one side and narrow prespective. I noticed Gel jumped on the board so she will shake them up a bit I am sure!
It is great to have someone to talk to. Thanks!
Goes both ways!
Well, time to get some work done today!
Hope you did a better job then me on this one lol I was up until 3 doing laundry and have done jack today
