Ok so you've done the same thing many of us have...screamed, plead, cried, whined etc. Did you draw any boundaries for his behavior....are there any consequences to his continuing to do this?
Gotta tell you too that although I absolutely understand why you haven't been initiating...I agree with Nicky, all you've really been doing is letting him off the hook when it comes to dealing with YOU.
Try telling him is MC or D. Try not screaming, crying, or whining....just talking, firmly and calmly, but no raised voice. Let me put it this way....when someone's yelling, screaming, whining at you are you listening to what they are saying or are you just hearing their tone of voice?
I firmly believe that one of the things that made the biggest impace when I confronted my H last month was that I didn't yell, I didn't pitch a fit, I spoke calmly, clearly....and very directly but my tone told him I was dead serious.
People who are in your situation (with kids and a business) have managed to repair their M's or go through a D, so you aren't going to be breaking new ground there.....so try not to dwell on that. Set some goals and go for those, I find that easier.
I do truly suggest you make MC a goal for you both though. If necessary I personally would make it a boundary for your M....my gut says he's not going to change his behavior until someone smacks him upside the head with what he's doing to you and your M. But that's my take on it.
