I agree with Chrissy on this. Your H has admitted to looking at porn before, but not currently....but you know he's currently looking at it....yet he's hiding that from you, why?
I maintain...porn as long as it's not hidden and both people benefit from it is not a problem....hiding it and turning your spouse down at the same time....that's a problem. I'd continue monitoring his activity Nicky....to at the very least find out how often he does view it in comparison to how often he's active with you.
As for how you handled his rejection of your offer, had I been in your shoes here's how I might have handled that. I'd have said something like "man honey, do you have any idea how many guys would just jump at the chance if their W offered them a BJ?....I'm giving you the opportunity to be the envy of every guy at work ya know!;)" The key I've found is to make the statements lighthearted and non-threatening. I know, that's not so easy to do when you are feeling rejected....but if you make it sound like there's something wrong with him....you certainly won't stand any chance at getting him in the mood...whereas putting it in the light like I mentioned....gives him the opportunity to think "hey she's right, what am I nuts?!" and then take you up on your offer. It's in the approach. You had the opportunity to kind of diffuse the situation, but mumbling under your breath what you did (although quite tempting, I'll grant you that.) escalated the situation and he became defensive instead.
Just some thoughts....I'm certainly not the authority here.
