Quote:

Ah, the male ego strikes again: "There are very simple ways-- without an MRI machine, to tell if a woman is faking an O or not." If you truly believe this, you are simply wrong





Oldtimer. I like you. I like your posts. I see that you care. I even like your crusade to expose a seriously destructive tactic the kills intimacy. I almost got into it after Stig and I made some remarks about it, but decided to just let time handle it. So thank you for bringing it up. However, your a little adamant about all women faking all the time.

So I baited you with my post. When this post is all read and done, remember, I like you and what your trying to accomplish here.

It is actually not simple to tell, but all skills do become simple the more they are practiced. As for you telling me I am wrong. Shrug. Fine. Matters not to me. I cant emperically prove it to you.

To clarify though I said tell if she is faking. There is no way you can tell if a woman does have one as there are so many different types of O that each individual woman will have. When I am walking down the street and my SO who is wearing her favorite Jeans, pauses and goes 'mmm. I just had an O', (damnit that makes me jealous ) there is no way for me to know.
Men can ejaculate without having an O, but if my SO explodes/ejaculates, --which is much different then the 'liitle peeing' fake tactic (which will definitely prompt my "thats insulting" comment) that you mention, I dont really worry about if she had an O. And Im not inclined to discuss the topic of weather she possible ejaculated without Oing, with her either, as she and most likely I are happy to just lay there and enjoy our resolution.

But that is at the extreme end. So back to the fact that its really not simple to tell but can be done. I said you can tell when she is faking.
But apparently you and all other woman have a superhuman ability to control your autonomic responses.
Personally Ive never met a woman who has more control over hers then I do of mine.

Lfl
how long can you hold your breath, and how fast can you drop your heart rate to 30 beats per minute? Since you have control over your sweating reflex, (and I am not talking about sweating from exertion. I am referring to the whole body prickle that rides up and down the skin in waves and causes micro sweat) tachyardia, and not to mention myotonia, and the sudden release of it, which can be seen and also felt thru the fingertips of those who care too, well I am very astounded. I am very hopeful for you, you should have no problem controlling your attraction mechanism now.

anyways. If a woman is gripping the sheets, moaning, groaning, etc professes her gratitude and claims to have O'd--and doesnt show the requisite resolution signals afterwards, I call her on it.
and you know what. they are shocked for a minute, deny, protest, etc. I will not be swayed. eventually she will say 'how do you know' or some other testing comment. my reply is 'its not important---THAT is not the issue.'. I will not be redirected. they always seem to appreciate the fact judging from the fact that it often leads to an emotional 'opening up' soon enough after my remark, and some intimate conversation where she can feel trust. But I do not relinquish untill she admits.

So I stand by my statement. It comes from confidance,of succesfully having used courage repeatedly to tackle the issue. not ego. I know what I know. and if you say I dont. fine. no point in having this conversation anymore.

Not helpful to discussing ways on how to tackle the issue though.

the confidence with which most men believe this is a big part of the problem

yes. MEN. they are incredibly stupid for taking a womans word and believing her when engaged in the most intimate thing that could be between them. Great place to start --or continue---lying. <sarcasm.> THAT is the problem. <more sarcasm.> Its all OUR fault, that she is faking. <even more sarcasm>

it is excellent that you apparently acknowledge the possiblity of faking during sex

Thank you. Why would I deny that she is faking when I can clearly tell she is faking? The body has to be trained to lie. Its not easy. very few pull it off over extended periods of time. Women who are not in touch with themselves enough to know their sexual response certainly are not going to be able to train it to fake.

That will make women appreciate you, even if they still go on to fake occassionally

good. and good. they need the kegals. If they continue, It is tied up in her need to fake then, as I am not going to care. and call it when I see it. Giving a woman an O is not my imperitive goal. Its nice, and Im pretty damn good at it. ( I think this of course, because she built up my ego with all that faking. Hmm thats helpful, giving a wrong response so he can continue doing what ISNT working. sigh. )
No sense in wasting all thouse physiology and anantomy classes. But if her O is not to be, I dont care, so why would she? Its still an enjoyable connecting time.
OT it seems you missed my early postings where I discussed intentionally leaving a woman unsatisfied, just so the hunger is there.

LFL
There is no way I guy can tell if his partner has O'd with most O's your right. Thats not what I said. I said tell if she is faking.
It's not a reflection on how the man is as a lover. It is ultimately up to the W to make herself reach an O.

True and true. IF you lie, its not his fault. If you keep getting the same, because of your lie, its not his fault.
Why do guys take such offense? Whatcha think BF?
offense to Oing? never met a guy that did.
offense to not Oing? they are uneducated.
offense to faking? its lying and as the thread title says, a roadblock to intimacy. as all lying and continued testing via unbreakable puzzles trying to force your SO to figure you out are. but most of them come from fear. so its understandable, but not acceptable.


OG
Quote:

'There is no need to fake an O. Its insulting when you do, Though truthful, I think this often would come across as insulting to many woman unless there was a great deal of trust for both partners



when she insults me by lying, thats a boundary that I can state, and enforce. If my boundary hurts her feelings, if the truth hurts her feelings, that is her problem to deal with as Corri repeatedly tries to teach us. she can huff, she can puff, she can cry, she can mope. She will get over it and she will appreciate and respect your strength.

apologizing after you have stated a boundary, for that boundary, is not strong, not attractive. its supplicating, becuase of her feelings. Not our problem.
She will respect you for your boundary. It leads to good things. less testing, and appreciation. win/win (not just talking about sex)