Well yesterday didn't go as planned, it went better.
Yesterday morning I taught an anti bullying class for a group of kids in the local mentoring program. It was an exciting high energy class. I was very excited and happy with the message I got across. Since I teach a very aggressive and violent art it is sometimes hard to get across to liberal types that this can really help the kids. However i got that message across loud and clear. The group was ecstatic.
So as planned I headed out the door immediatly after class. I had stated that I was going the day before and made certain that it was understood that it was to be just me. So out the door behind me comes my wife, with a gym bag in hand. She says "I want to go" and in the gym bag she has packed another set of clothes for the both of us. So right then this stray dog shows up. We catch him but have no place to put him safe while we go. She says she'll stay to take care of him but I can tell she really doesn't want to. We end up dropping the dog at a friends and going.
So the event we go to is good. Afterwards I take her to a favorite restaurant and the rest of the group goes along. We're having a great time and in the middle of it all she calls me Honey!!! Just in a casual sentence amid all the conversations going on. I was so shocked I don't even know what the sentence was. Haven't heard her call me that in a very long time.
I'm thinking that was a safe place for her to do that. There were a lot of people at the table and I had to act like it was nothing. Is she really that planning and smart or did it just slip out at that time cause she was feeling good about things. I think I know the answer.
I was thinking the same thing. things were stagnant. Good but not moving forward. But I have changed my mind. There are a large number of variables at play. I think I have a pretty good handle on most of them.
One of the most important aspects is that she is still searching for her. But she has decided she can be whole and be with me. They are not exclusive of each other.
The makeup thing is intriguing me. She bought makeup from a tv commercial. Everyone is givving her a hard time about it. My normal response to it would be "you don't need it" said in a loving way. However I changed that. Another woman was giving her a hard time about it. I break in and say "She's gorgeaus without it and I'm sure she's gorgeaus with it" The woman turns and says "wow, you treat her like a woman and a black belt". My wife doesn't say a word and that's a good thing.
So this whole duality thing is what I'm very very interested it. I think she's toying with it. Can she be the strong business woman and the loving wife. Strong and also tender.
This morning the commercial comes on about the makeup. We joke a little about it and I suggest that maybe she try it on tonight for fun. The answer wasn't no.
It's been 75 days since she moved back in. Seems like a long time and things have moved very very slowly forward. But they have been forward.
She's very cautious and she's also very stubborn. These two things are keeping it slow. But forward is forward.
