Been wanting to get on here and post for days. I'm really considering it one variable, detachment. I don't wear my ring, don't walk i and kiss her during the day, am not affected when she doesn't kiss me on her way out. I sometimes will go off and do things without including her.
I noticed an immediate positive result. The first day things were quiet. She noticed that I wasn't wearing it and our conversation became forced. We didn't talk much.
The next day, when she awoke, she came in and spent some time with me over coffee. She has done this three days in a row. She inititiates the quality time. Has been me always in the past. Trying to lure her in with something for quality time.
Yesterday she was dressed to go out. We had no plans but I suggested we head out and trip around. Had a very nice time. Spent time planning decorating the quan. Then went to a nice dinner. She mentioned we had been going out to often but when the bill came said "oh that's not much, that was worth it". A couple of times she pointed out how some of the men at other tables were so rude to their dates, wearing phone headsets, anything that did not give full attention to the date. She said she would get up and leave had she been on a date with them. Clue. There was a lot of future talk yesterday. But at the end of the day still only a kiss before bed.
I've also been thinking a lot about something in BBJ's what women want post from a long time ago. Something to the effect that a woman wants a man loves her but there is the slightest danger of him being snatched up by another woman. Like he could always go. This ties in withsome experiences from the past. When we first met I was really playing the field. Over a period of time my wife snatched me away from other women many times. She really seemed to enjoy this. Once she made the comment (many years ago when we were dating and a bit drunk) that she wanted to be my mistress. That I would marry some nice girl some day and have children and she would always be there as my mistress for the great sex. I told her she knew me better than that and I would never go for such a plan. but it gave me a lot of insight. On the one hand it said that she didn't have the self esteem to be the nice girl that became my wife and had the kids. On the other hand it told me she really liked that bad girl thing. She loved to be the girl in the background that I really wanted to sleep with while I had the more presentable one that i showed off. Today she is the more presentable one and I want that bad girl back. OOOHHHH I want that bad girl back so badly.
BJ have fun with this one. Lots of fun. I've got myself thinking. But I don't know what.
