Well it's both. Things are going well and I'm busy working.
Used to be I couldn't stay away from these boards for 5 minutes. I was constantly so frantic. Now I feel the need to be away from them for awhile. I want to come back as a completely successful db'r.
We are doing well. She's moved back in but still hasn't moved her things into my room. There is much future talk like last night when she was telling a friend about a house we wanted to buy. Sometimes when we go out she shows signs of affection. Touching my arm or putting her hand on my leg to talk. She likes to look into my eyes when she tells stories to other people. Must look so cute, her staring into my eyes for confirmation on what she is saying.
We are far more open with each other about our conflicts with each other. So they don't boil up into anything anymore. She has a tendency to build up her anger if she is talking about someone who upsets her and it is directed at me. She doesn't mean to she just has a hell of a temper. Yesterday instead of letting it get to me I told her to knock it off and don't direct it at me. It dispelled instantly.
For all practical purposes we seem like the perfect couple in love. Last night we were out at a fancy restaurant. I probably could have held her hand but I didn't. Letting her come to me has seemed to be the only thing that works.
Sometimes I feel she wants to come back to our bed. But she still sleeps on the couch. I guess there is still a lot of pressure attached to that. We've been married almost 8 years but it all seems new again.
I don't know but I'm not going to push. It doesn't work. The more I go my own way and don't worry about it the better it gets.
Writing this post has helped me realize that even more. There is a qoute from anais Nin
Quote:
Anxiety is love's greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.
Anais Nin, The Diary of Anais Nin, volume 4, 1944-1947
I find this to be true.
And this one I just found which is truly profound and truly fitting to my wife..
Quote: I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. Anaïs Nin
that is amazing.
Xuesheng.
Always learning but hopefully not always the hard way.
