Had a couple really emotional days though. Wife went to visit a friend and got snowed in. First I realized the importance of having time alone. I needed that. Then when she did get back I became anxious. No reason to be but I was. It very much reminded me of my childhood and the anxiety that came along with wondering when the drunk step father was going to explode. It made me step back and realize how actually hypervigilant I really am.
I had a couple emotional days. Seemingly no reason but things just seemed to bubble up. I had realized that some old negative patterns had come up again. Not very strongly but they did surface. I went over many negative traits on paper and thankfully realized that I have rid myself of many but I still have work to do.
Yesterday was a brilliant day for us. We held an amazing training event and the attendees (and ourselves) were just blown away by how good it was. We were so proud of our instructors. It was a big step for us and a big success.
Things are going very well for our marriage. We are very close. I really want her back in the same bed with me but I don't get anxious over the expectations of it anymore. It will happen.
So things are still on track and we are both still on a path of self discovery
One thing I did realize is that this certainly keeps us on the path of growth. If she had started sleeping with me I may have stopped or at least slowed down my discoveries dramatically. There is benefit to it. I just don't like it.
