"How can I help you?" Right now, may you bow down on your knees in awe of whom you serve and tell your Lord what your needs are today. Allow your Lord to help you supernaturally in ways that you could never imagine. He will help you meet your daily needs and solve your problems. Believe that your Lord will also go after your spouse who is chained in sin and will set him free by His mighty power. How can your Lord help you? Talk to Him!
"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue." Proverbs 17:27-28
I have the feeling that my H reconciled with me only to keep face. I think he loves me, but I also believe that he feels that our M has taken such a turn because of his actions, that he thinks it may be easier to walk away. We've talked in the past about renewing our vows and he asked me this morning if I still wanted to do that - fyi, I brought up the subject. Anyway, I said yes, of course and then I asked, do you? His response was "I don't know, should I"? What should I make of this? Something's not right, I feel it deep in my soul. Any take on this?
Bowtech, I'm a Christian and I pray quite a bit for wisdom and peace and for Christ to lead me - that's why I went back home. I felt led to do so, but I see things that maybe the Lord is showing me. After all, I've asked God to show me what it is I need to see. I have also asked God to help me in making the decision to stay or go. The way I see it is that I have every right, biblically, to leave. There was immorality, but I also know that I must forgive, which I work at daily, but my H is a cardnal christian, he doesn't even know if he's saved. Again, this is not God's will for me to mesh with a non-believer.
darkblue3, do you think he may be rethinking the reconcillation? He told me this morning, not to start on him. What? Am I suppose to snuff out my feelings and emotions. Am I suppose to not share my concerns with him? I can't live with a S who I have to pick and choose my topic of conversation especially when I know he is in a very depressed state of mind and he won't share! Do you thiknk the OW could be in touch with him again? Just a feelling that I have.
Gwen!!!!!!!!! I am glad you found me, the last time I saw you on the board I was in newcomers and now I have “graduated” to Surviving, thanks for dropping in! I didn’t know you were back on the board and as you can imagine I don’t spend any time hanging out in the Piecing form. Although maybe I should brush up just in case, my STBX sent me a note yesterday asking me if I wanted to get back together. Hmmmmm, I’ll have to think about that………………….okay, enough thinking, I don’t want to get back together. There that was easy, wasn’t it?
I am not sure if you want any advice from a guy that has given up on his relationship but you know me… I’m going to offer it anyway. I would give H a little room to breathe, I know you have questions about OW but I think you should be very careful about how and when you ask them. I would set some self imposed limits on this, like only being able to bring the subject up one day a week or something like that. I know if I were H, I would get depressed if I thought I could get blindsided with OW questions at anytime.
Other than that I wouldn’t worry much about H, if he want’s to be depressed in the morning, let that be his problem, go on with your day. I still feel that H is a bit of a manipulator and he does not deserve your sympathy.
And on those days when things get really tough and you need something to pull you through, I suggest chocolate! Lots of chocolate and then a trip to the gym. Hee hee!
((((((((Gwen))))))))
Take care my rebel friend!
Al (The Yankee)
ALL
"Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!"
Quote: To my H's credit, he has done so much to regain my trust. All I have to do is hint that I need something, and it's taken care of for me. He reassues me that he loves me, truely remorseful, can't believe he let himself get into this mess, etc, etc.
He'll probably be a while getting over being depressed, he knows the mess he created. He seems like he enjoys serving you, it probably helps him feel better about himself. I understand how you want him to know how you feel, but he might not be ready to deal with anymore right now.
Guys, I'm at a loss. As I said, my H is depressed. He constantly makes remarks about how better off I would if he were dead and that he feels that he doesn't have long to live and death. I know that these are signs of depression, but he won't buy into the depressed concept and seek help. He also displaying physical symptoms. Chest pains, back pains, etc. Any suggestions?
Depression is a common phase during piecing. I think it's one of the series of steps that we all have to go through.
Honestly, you can't make him do anything about it. And pushing the subject is just going to make him more grumpy about it. He'll have to figure it out for himself.
That doesn't mean you can't be supportive. You can reiterate that this is your choice, you are happy, you can make your own decisions, etc. Be kind, be loving, do things that appeal to his love languages. If this is related to part of the healing process, he will come out of it when it's time.
