What is a vital key to your marriage restoration? The answer is obedience. Your obedience in listening and obeying your Lord Jesus Christ's voice of instructions in your daily life. I believe with all my heart, that if you will seek the Lord for His plan and purpose for your life and marriage, your Lord God will speak to you showing His will and way. That is vital for you to be able to have the assurance that you are on the right road following your Lord Jesus Christ.
"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." John 14:21
"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me." John 10:27
Do you know what is one of the most important prayers that you can pray for your spouse other than for repentance? It is for obedience. That will take your spouse from hearing the Lord telling them over and over again to get out of their situation, TO doing it! If we would take a survey of how the Lord is speaking to your spouse to come home, almost guaranteed, they had been told more times than they could count to: get out of their situation, turn their life to the Lord and go back to you, their spouse.
You need to pray for your mate's obedience. Their disobedience is blocking them coming to their Lord and back home to you. I do not believe Bob could tell you how many times the Lord told him to stop doing what he was doing. God kept calling Bob's name to return to the Lord and to go home!
"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue." Proverbs 17:27-28
