I'm with you and GH on the confronting the SO thing. He is sending you mixed signals because he doesn't know what he wants. Crowding him on it will NOT help and is not loving. What I believe will help is giving you both emotional space.
You may want to share where you are with him, though, or at least try to get it straight in your head.
"I feel _________, ________, and __________ when I respond ___________ to SO's mixed signals."
"I choose to do ______________ because _______________."
BTW, I found it interesting that you took my last post to be so harsh. Methinks you may be pretty down on yourself. Don't be -- you are being very strong and compassionate. Notice that all I said really was... don't do things that hurt you, own your choices, be honest with yourself and others, choose things that you want. You aren't supposed to be perfect at this or even know how to handle it well. You haven't been through it before.
Best, Oldtimer
P.S. How about a direct response to SO about why you don't text him etc..., rather than "I didn't know it was required." Gee, SO, I get confused about how to deal with your attention. I have really enjoyed spending time with you lately, and I hope we continue to do so, but in the process, I need to protect my feelings right now by maintaining some emotional space so that I can learn to have a wonderful life with you in it, not necessarily as SO.
OK, maybe not all that. Maybe a simple "It doesn't work for me right now to interact with you as your SO in those ways, though I really enjoy your company."
